irun

I run
as fast as ever
in my wildest dreams i could never
dream i would run this fast
run right on past
everything
no brakes
i take a lunge of frustration
with nothing else to do i begin the demonstration
i run from what i once desired
run from what was once my only true want
the one thing my life required
i run away from what i was previously running to
i run away from love
i run away
from you
and as if every lesson i was taught i choose not to remember
and so as i run
i run with scissors
with them i cut into my chest and discard my defective heart in the river
if you wish you can attempt to retrieve it be my guest
but honestly i cant describe a better feeling than running
running with wind blowing through your chest
gouging out my eyes
and cutting off my hands
so the lies
can neither be seen nor felt
taking the bloody scissors and cutting off all ties from my belt
because i realize i run faster by myself
yet
in the back of my mind
i know
if i go
i have doomed myself
doom is the day i run too fast
the day i realize my legs wont last
when i find i was running in the wrong direction
when all i crave is affection
leaving me with no eyes looking for my heart
blindly feeling around in the dark with nubs
desperately trying to find love
but then again when has the certainty of failure ever stopped me
and so
i run